Helpful Counselling Class 3, “Does Counselling Work?”, Joan Mankoo, Thames Valley churches of Christ

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” (Prov. 20:5 NIV11)

• A relationship of understanding can help draw one  another out of deep waters.
• Without it we might drown.

Does counselling work?

• Yes, but not always.
• It depends on the needs of the individual and the benefit they find in the counselling.
• Relationship is the key issue. Are you connecting with your counsellor?
• The person receiving counselling must be open to the relationship and the process or it will not work.

Personal Development

“honour your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”(Matt. 19:19 NIV11)

• Take responsibility for feelings and behaviour
•  Impact on all relationships including our relationship with God.
• Understanding myself better canhelp us to mature and grow.
• We aim to grow towards self-acceptance and thus empathy for others.

Why do I need someone else to help me with this?

• We are not objective
• Blind spots and assumptions need exposing and examining.
• Someone to offer empathy, connection and love
• Confidentiality is key

See Brene Brown video about blame and taking responsibility.

 

Practical tips for your own personal development

• Slow down
• Be creative - such as keeping a journal
• Be vulnerable
• Our aims is to improve relationship (GOD - God, Ourselves, Disciples)
• “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Eph. 5:18–20 NIV11) 

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Heb. 4:15–16 NIV11) 

 

In practice

• Know your limitations
• Respect the other person, confidentiality, collaboration 

Principles in practice: list on the slide

 

Practice is Process

• Takes time
• Is not a fix
• Trust
• Growth
• Beginning, middle and end

An example: Greig/Loss - see slide and grief video

 

Working with children and young people: see slide

• Help people to find their hope

Growing towards our full potential: see slide

 

Relationship is all

• Jn 13.34
• Mk 12.31
• 1 Cor 3.7

Thank you for listening to this podcast. You can find more episodes in our feed. Our web site is http://www.tvcoc.org. 

 

Please add your comments on this week’s topic. We learn best when we learn in community. 

 

Do you have a question about the Bible or the Christian faith? Is it theological, technical, practical? Send us your questions or suggestions. Here’s the email: tvcochrist@gmail.com.

 

Thanks again for listening. Have a super day.

 

God bless,

 

Malcolm

 

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